Savior
by you-make-me-wander
Summary: Stiles and Lydia come to terms with their feelings a few weeks after he's saved her from Eichen House. Post S5A.


**A/N – For stydia-fanfiction on tumblr, for the prompt "A night cuddling filled with kisses". I got a little carried away with the backstory and the story got really long, so I decided to split it up in two parts. The fluff requested is coming up next with a little (good) twist.**

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Stiles hasn't left Lydia's side since he – without the pack - rescued her from Eichen House a month and a half ago. Because of it, understandably, he's been feeling overprotective of her, always worried for her safety especially when she's out of his sight. He tries as he can to always be near and Lydia wouldn't want it any other way. He stops by often, spends time with her and helps her out, only leaving when she falls asleep. It's become their routine.

It's been good for them. Stiles and Lydia have gotten closer in the last month and a half in a way they haven't in the years they've known each other. In the beginning, Stiles was the only one Lydia would let touch her aside from her mother. With his grades mostly secured, Stiles managed to convince his dad that maybe a few days away from school wouldn't hurt, that Lydia needed him. The Sheriff had no other choice but to agree, really; he knew that if he didn't, Stiles would just skip school to be with her. The supernatural threats had taken their toll on all the members of the pack and the man understood. Stiles and Lydia needed each other and it was Lydia they were talking about after all.

It hadn't taken long after that for Stiles to definitely put an end to his relationship with the werecoyote. They both knew it was coming and decided to part amicably for everyone's sake. After the Dread Doctors' ordeal, the whole pack was still recovering and the last thing they needed was more problems. Besides, Malia saw how Stiles looked at Lydia after he saved her. Or more importantly, how Lydia looked at Stiles, like he was the only person capable of helping her keep the little sanity she had left. Malia was not gonna get in the middle of that.

Lydia had been hurt beyond belief and emotionally traumatized but thankfully Stiles had gotten her out before it was too late. From then on, everything he breathed was Lydia and everything Lydia breathed was him. They wouldn't talk much, not about what happened to her and not about anything else but they'd always be close to one another. Stiles would just look out for her along with Natalie, occasionally with his dad too, and be there to hold her when she'd need comfort. They never needed many words between them anyway.

It was hard on them both, though. Lydia was incredibly debilitated and it sickened Stiles seeing her like that. In the beginning she'd barely talk, eat or move. With their group so fragile and so many connections between the members of the pack severed almost to a point of no return, it wasn't like Lydia was particularly eager on reaching out to them. Stiles - all by himself – had gotten her out, not the others. Even more so, he almost died to do it. Stiles and Lydia both understand that the pack had other important matters to tend to at the time, but it doesn't make them hurt any less because of it. Hadn't it been for Stiles and if he'd been late for only five minutes, she'd be dead. So for now Lydia is choosing him over the others.

Stiles hasn't been trying to reach out to them either, not with the events still so recent. But as Lydia slowly got better, she started to look healthy again and wasn't as thin as when Stiles found her locked up in the basement of that damned institution. She started talking to him more and to her mom as well, even with the Sheriff when he stopped by to check on her sometimes. Three weeks after he rescued her, Stiles could barely contain his excitement when he finally got a smile out of her - he tripped and almost fell on his face, but whatever. Totally worth it!

At the end of the fourth week Lydia called Kira back, finally giving some feedback to the kitsune who had been trying to talk to the redhead ever since the rest of the pack found out about Lydia being out of Eichen. They talked briefly, Lydia only telling her that she was better, that Stiles was okay and that she hoped everyone else was alright as well. But when Kira tried to apologize in her name and the rest of the pack for not getting her out of Eichen with Stiles, Lydia muttered that she had to go and ended the call right then.

She felt bad for doing so but she couldn't completely accept it yet, that if it hadn't been for Stiles and his undying care for her, she'd not be home. It was him and only him who saved her, no backup. And she knows just like Stiles does that innocent lives were at stake and that they needed saving just like Lydia did, but whereas Scott chose to help the other ones first, Stiles leapt to save Lydia without a second thought and he was lucky that he wasn't too late. They're not mad at the rest of the pack, not _per se_ , but Stiles doesn't blame Lydia for not wanting to reach out to them either.

They're still upset about the whole situation though, and so from then on Stiles tries to cheer Lydia up, take her out of the house even if only to take a walk around the neighborhood but Lydia always says no. She always says no and doesn't explain why she refuses it, but Stiles knows that she's afraid of what can happen out in the open, that it's too soon for her to venture like that. She could use the fresh hair, enjoy the sun a little bit and stretch her legs but Stiles understands. He's a little scared for her too.

Instead, they spend their days just clinging onto each other, sometimes watching TV, sometimes reading, sometimes sharing a comforting silence.

So time passes.

Another two weeks in and Lydia feels that maybe it's time for a change, to finally open up and do something to dull her ache a little bit, to finally allow herself to get better, to be better. Like they've been doing so many times lately, Stiles stopped by on a late Saturday morning and helped Natalie prepare lunch along with Lydia. After the meal, Natalie goes out for coffee with a friend and Stiles and Lydia curl up on the couch in silence.

Lydia clings to him like he's a part of her now, like he's an extension of her being. It's not that far from reality, really.

It comes out unexpected and unhurriedly, Lydia telling Stiles for the first time what it was like when she was in Eichen. He surprises her by listening attentively and in the end sharing with Lydia his experience as well, something that he's kept hidden in a dark corner of his mind for far too long. They cry silently as they listen to the other, and in between shed tears and half-sobs their mind clears, weighs a little less. Before they know it, they're dozing off to a peaceful, much needed nap.

Stiles wakes up first. He hears the front door and stirs, careful not to wake up Lydia as well. Natalie passes them by without a word, a soft smile directed at Stiles as she makes her way to the kitchen. He falls back asleep soon enough and Lydia is the one waking up next to find Stiles still sleeping beside her, far too close and never close enough like it always seems to be with the two of them.

She distances herself from his embrace just enough to look at him fondly, warmth filling her in a way it hasn't for quite a while. Momentarily dazzled, Lydia caresses his cheek and runs her hand through his hair, pushing it back and away from his forehead gently.

He sighs and his lips tilt up at the corners slightly, involuntarily, and Lydia smiles wide at that, literally gives in to a huge white-teethed grin because even if he's not awake, Stiles is so in tune with her that he responds to her ministrations even when out of consciousness. His free hand moves absently to pull her a little closer, like he just knows that something is missing next to him.

Lydia muffles a chuckle, covering her mouth with her hands to prevent any sound to come out and disturb him, but her grin is still there. She wishes it'd stay permanently. Aware that Stiles would love to see her like that, beaming and cheeks flushed at something as innocent as his touch, Lydia reminds herself to make sure that he will, once he wakes up. It's a special day, after all.

She nuzzles against his chest, patiently waiting until he stirs awake almost twenty minutes later. In the meantime she's just there, happy in his safe embrace as she has never been before, thinking to herself that she'd never consider in her life anyone's snore to be cute but she does. His soft snores are like music to her ears, strangely, and they make her skin break in goosebumps when Stiles breathes out against her cheek. His heartbeat feels comforting.

He's alive. She's alive. Her family and friends are alive. It doesn't get much better than that.

Something falls to the ground in the kitchen and the sharp sound has Stiles waking up immediately, sitting up promptly and looking around for some kind of danger. Lydia ends up laughing loudly at his still sleepy features after she explains that her mother dropped a pan to the ground.

He scowls at the redhead, not fully realizing what's happening. "It's not funny."

Lydia starts getting up from the couch, nudging him on the shoulder. "It's a little funny."

Stiles narrows his eyes at her but relaxes when Natalie comes running into the living room, apologies falling out of her lips profusely because she's well aware of what Stiles would think, that danger was close once again. He sighs in relief and gets up as well, and the three of them tidy the room, Lydia fixing the cushions while Stiles folds their blanket and Natalie opens the curtains.

Just when the woman is about to ask the teens if they want anything to eat, Lydia surprises them. "Stiles, I want to go outside."

Her words catch him off guard and he stumbles on thin air as he makes his way towards her, refraining from moving his hand up to her forehead to check if she has a fever by any chance. "You do?" he asks unsure, glancing at Natalie. The woman gives him a wary smile.

Lydia nods enthusiastically, a shine in her eyes that Stiles hasn't seen in months. "Yes. Would you come with me?"

She reaches for his hands and he gladly lets her hold them. It's not uncommon these days and it makes him feel complete. He wonders if it makes her feel the same way. Stiles pulls her to him gently and Lydia takes a step forward, a small smile appearing on her lips. "Are you sure though? We haven't been out yet." He chances a look at Natalie again. The woman seems a little uncertain, much like him, but shrugs her shoulders nonetheless. Maybe it's time.

Lydia nods again, swiftly this time. "Yes." She looks at her mom for encouragement and Natalie nods and smiles at her little girl, trying to not let show on her features that she's both scared of it and has been waiting for this moment for quite some time now. Lydia feels her uneasiness though, one that she shares. She's sure Stiles feels it too. "But… Just to the backyard. We can go to the backyard for a little bit, can't we?"

To Stiles she seems a little excited, somewhat hopeful even, and so he finds himself nodding, doing his best to ignore the heaviness in his heart that settles itself there instantly. "Y- Yeah, we can- Sure."

Natalie offers to prepare them some snacks until they're back inside but Lydia nods swiftly in her mom's direction. Stiles doesn't notice it. Lydia is quick to lead Stiles outside by the hand as if her resolve would change if she were to delay the inevitable. But Stiles doesn't let her be the first to go through the back door, of course, making sure to check the perimeter for anything out of the ordinary before they take that step. When they do it, it's side by side.

He still does so suspiciously, as if something were to go wrong the second they were to step foot outside the house but nothing happens. Lydia takes a step away from him, looking up and finally enjoying the sun warming her skin like she hasn't in so long. It's not quite the same when she does it from behind her window.

Lydia closes her eyes and just stays like that for a minute, silent, content.

Stiles watches her carefully, close enough just in case, alert as always but he soon gets distracted because it's Lydia, and there's a smile on her lips again and she looks better, so much better than she was when he found her in Eichen and he finally feels that things can go back to normal. Or as normal as they can ever be in Beacon Hills, at least. And so for that minute that she's still, Stiles allows himself to worship her, to revel in the way his heart always warms just from looking at his Lydia, and god! He's so happy that she's happy.

But then he sees her shiver and just like that defensive Stiles is back again, like it's something that he was born to do, something he can't help for the life of him. It's a rather cold day for April but the sun is out and it's still a beautiful day and Lydia is so beautiful in the sun but no, she cannot be shivering, and so he starts taking off his hoodie.

Lydia snaps out of her daze when she hears the zipper, opening her eyes and turning to face him quickly, reaching for his hands so that he stops. "You don't have to do that," she murmurs amused.

"Of course I do, you're cold," he starts to argue, resolute.

She doesn't let him continue. Instead, she walks right into his arms, hugging him by the waist. "You can warm me just fine."

Yeah, he doesn't really have an answer to that. Not a verbal one, anyway. Placing his chin on the top of her head, Stiles brings her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders protectively. It takes him a moment to speak up. "You were supposed to be enjoying your time outside, you know?"

There's a hint of enjoyment in his voice, Lydia notices, and she responds with as much affection as she can muster because really, when did she fall in love with him _this much_? She can't remember. Looking up at him, she murmurs honestly. "I am."

Stiles blushes automatically but brushes it off. It's not like she hasn't been saying things of the sort lately. He tucks a stray auburn curl behind her ear. "You know what I mean."

"I think you know what I meant too," she all but whispers, and she's sure her mouth went dry in a nanosecond and her heart is beating so wildly in her chest that she's positive Stiles can hear it. She's done with waiting and being unsure and not acting on her feelings. She's been in love with him for quite a while now; she doesn't want to lose him. She can't. HE's everything to her. "Don't you?"

She's been hinting at it in the last few days, he's not an idiot. What he is, though, is confused. So, so confused. "Lydia, I… I don't k-"

Her smile is almost timid. _Almost_. "Do you know what we never did?"

He's nearly afraid of asking "What?" but he still does so, refraining from taking a step back and away from her. He's not sure if they're ready for this conversation.

There's a split second in which Lydia ponders if she should go with this or not, if it's worth risking their bond, their friendship, but a second is all that she needs. "We never discussed that kiss."

His arms drop to his sides immediately but he doesn't step away. Instead, Stiles just swallows thickly. It's funny. It seems like the kiss was so long ago that he wasn't even sure anymore if it had even been real. It's not like they ever told anyone about it. "And you wanna do that here? Now?"

Lydia nods shyly. "Yeah. Right here, right now."

He nods too, his skin itching with nerves and anticipation. "Are you sure? We don't have to-"

"I'm sure."

He runs a hand through his hair, messing it up out of anxiety before he starts walking slowly around her pool, gesturing for Lydia to tag along. There's no way he can be still for this. "Okay, so uh… What about it?" he asks, looking down.

Lydia eyes him carefully, studying his features. He looks concerned. She doesn't want that. "We never did anything about it. We didn't act on it, we didn't talk about it, we never even acknowledged it happened." Stiles looks back at her, eyes searching her soul and Lydia is the one blushing this time, but she doesn't look away when she says "I'd like to change that."

He thinks of asking her why, or what difference it would make now, or even what the hell does she mean by that. He thinks of asking her if this conversation is worth having. Instead he nods again to let her continue, heart on his throat.

Lydia looks down and fiddles with a loose string on the hem of her shirt, unsure of what to do with her hands. "Why didn't we do anything?"

Stiles shoves his hands in his pockets, suffering of the same problem. "I don't know. There was too much going on, I guess."

"Well, yes. But we still could have talked about it. We should have."

"It's okay that we didn't…"

Lydia places a hand on his arm, making him come to a halt. "You know it- You know it wasn't just to stop your panic attack, right? I mean, it was but… There are other ways to stop panics attacks, you know?"

There's a hint of a smile on his lips when Stiles takes her hand in his and entwines their fingers together, pulling her along with him and continuing their lap around the pool, ever so slowly. "I know." Lydia lets out a nervous chuckle and he does the same. "I've been having them for years. Me and my dad, Scott, we've tried different methods every other time but no one had ever kissed me to stop one before. It worked out anyway. It really was smart."

She grins at that, blushing harder despite herself. "Stiles?"

"Yeah?"

She squeezes his hand softly and stops walking, making him stop with her again. "I want to be smarter."

He frowns, confused. "What do you mean? _You are_ smart. Hell, Lydia, you're a genius. So-"

She interrupts him by taking a step forward, meeting him chest to chest. " _I want_ to be smarter," she repeats. "I want to do better this time."

She's standing so close he forgets how to breathe. " _This_ time?"

Lydia nods. Taking a deep breath, her free hand moves up to caress his cheek and pull him down slightly, giving him more than enough time to back out if that's what he wants. It's not the case, fortunately. His hands are on her waist and his forehead against hers in a second. "Last time, I panicked because you were panicking and I was confused about my feelings for you and everything was just wrong. All that was happening around us, and I was still trying to figure out my powers and the timing and place were not right but I… I thought that kissing you would help you hold your breath. And it did. It worked but…"

Stiles looks at her intently, barely managing out "But?"

"I wish it had been different. I wish we'd kissed in different circumstances and even so, I wish we'd done things differently afterwards. But the timing was still not right."

"I know," he murmurs, wishing the Nogitsune would be nothing but a fantasy in his life. "But still it's okay, Lydia."

"No, it's not okay."

He can't help himself this time. "Why?"

"Because… Because…"

He watches her struggle for words and frowning at herself at her own lack of vocabulary. He lifts her chin up so that she's looking right at him. "What's wrong?"

"That's just it. Nothing's wrong. But nothing is right either. Do you know what I mean?" she asks, a little frustrated.

He doesn't know whether to say _yes_ or _no_. "What are you trying to say, Lydia?"

"It's like…" There's a pause as she thinks, but soon her face lights up as she finds the words she was looking for. "It's like we keep missing each other. You know, first you had a crush on me but I didn't notice you. But then we became friends and realized the other wasn't exactly like we thought they were, right? So we adjusted. But right when I started to fall for you, there was the sacrifice and you were possessed by the Nogitsune and uh… You know…" He knows. She means Allison and Aiden and even after so many months, it leaves a sour taste in his mouth. She keeps going. "And after that, things just… Changed. Everything changed. _We_ changed. And that's okay. What's not okay is that we keep getting hurt one way or another and time passes us by and we haven't expressed our feelings yet. Not recently, anyway," she adds, recalling the times he'd told her in the past that he had a crush on her. "And I'm not okay with that."

He takes her words in silently, considering them. "Wait. Does that mean that you…"

"Yes," she replies automatically.

He's sure his heart starts to beat faster, even if he doesn't know how it's possible. "Since when?"

"Sometime before the kiss, I think. It wasn't really clear to me at the time, but it became obvious sometime around your possession." She gives him a small smile. "Bad timing, see?"

Stiles chuckles and lets out a relieved sigh. "So… What now?"

Her thumb brushes his cheekbone softly. "We confess our undying love for each other, hopefully," she says in a playful tone, but Stiles can see in her eyes that she's serious.

"You know how I feel about you, Lydia. It's not like I hide it."

"I know. But please tell me. I need to hear it." He's about to reply when she adds, almost inaudibly, "I need to know it's real."

It breaks his heart knowing what life has done to her, how the supernatural has damaged her enough that she reminds him of himself. Stiles lets go of her only to cup her cheeks. " _It is_ real. Lydia, I've been in love with you for ten years. And even when I was too young and naive and drunk in love with the idea of you, it wasn't lust I felt. Even when it was just a crush, it was… It was so much more than that. You know I've always seen a side of you even you didn't want to see. And that's the Lydia I fell in love with even before actually getting to know you. And ever since, I've just been… Blessed! God, if I ever knew that knowing you would be like this, I would have made things different. I wish things had been different and at the same time, I don't. Who knows? Maybe I wouldn't have met _this_ you. And I like this you." There's a stray tear that escapes the corner of her eye and Stiles wipes it away swiftly, offering her a comforting smile. "Lydia, this is the you I'm in love with right now. But you know that. Deep down, I think you always have."

Lydia breaks into a grin before slowly getting on her tiptoes and meeting his lips with hers. It's a soft kiss, slow, merely but a touch and yet exactly like she'd imagined it. Stiles pulls her the tiniest bit closer and she revels in the way it makes her feel so safe. When they part, Lydia looks more awestruck than he does, much like the first time they kissed. "Thank you."

He's surprised. "Thank you?"

Instead of nodding or just saying yes, Lydia kisses him again, a quick peck on the lips this time. Stiles holds on to it for a second too long, making her laugh into the kiss. She murmurs to his lips, amused. "Yes, thank you."

"What for?"

"For saving me."

Stiles rolls his eyes playfully. "You thank me for that every day." She does. Ever since he saved her from Eichen House, there hasn't been a day when she hasn't. "I thought you were thanking me for something else."

"I am." He looks at her confused and she just smiles wide. She can't remember the last time she smiled so freely like this. "Thank you for changing my life. You've been doing that for a while now and I hadn't really noticed just how much until recently. But now I have, so thank you."

He's the one grinning now. "See? I told you were smart."

Lydia grins. "You are not so bad yourself."

Stiles wraps his arms around her waist and holds her close. "We're quite the duo, uh?"

Lydia nods against his chest. "Yeah, I guess we are."

He kisses the top of her head. "Come on, lets go back inside."


End file.
